The Cannabis Maneuver

The Microdot Menagerie

Captain Pane is pulled into Balok’s tractor beam, in The Cannabis Maneuver! Endure Balok’s fury and see if Captain Pane and his crew come out alive, they will need all of their wits to get out of this one!

Psychedelic Tractor Beam
Psychedelic Tractor Beam


SPOCK: Exceptionally strong contact. Not visual yet. Distant spectrograph. Metallic, similar to cube. Much greater energy reading.

SULU: There, sir.

KIRK: Half speed. Prepare for evasive action.

SULU: Reducing to warp two, sir.

SPOCK: Tractor beam, Captain. Something’s grabbed us, hard.

SULU: Engines overloading, sir.

KIRK: All engines stop.

SULU: All engines stopped, sir.

KIRK: Phaser crews stand ready.
BAILEY: Bridge to phaser crews, stand ready.

CREWMAN [OC]: Forward phaser, will comply. All weapons at operational ready.

SPOCK: Fascinating.

KIRK: What’s its mass, Mister Spock?

SPOCK: Reading goes off my scale, Captain. Must be a mile in diameter.

BAILEY: Over five thousand metres away, and it still fills the screen.

KIRK: Reduce image. Let me see all of it.

SULU: Magnification two five, sir. Magnification one eight point five, sir.

KIRK: Ship to ship.

UHURA: Hailing frequencies open, sir.

KIRK: This is the United Earth ship Enterprise. We convey greetings and await your reply. What is it, Mister Bailey?

BAILEY: A message coming over my navigation beam.

KIRK: Pick it up.

UHURA: Switching, sir.

BALOK [OC]: And trespassed into our star systems. This is Balok, Commander of the flagship Fesarius of the First Federation. Your vessel, obviously the product of a primitive and savage civilisation, having ignored a warning buoy and having then destroyed it, has demonstrated your intention is not peaceful. We are now considering the disposition of your ship and the life aboard.

KIRK: Ship to ship.

UHURA: Hailing frequencies open, sir.

KIRK: This is the Captain of the Enterprise speaking. The warning nature of your space buoy was unknown to us. Our vessel was blocked. When we attempted to disengage

SPOCK: Captain, we’re being invaded by exceptionally strong sensor probes everywhere. Our electrical systems, our engines.

BALOK [OC]: No further communication will be accepted. If there is the slightest hostile move, your vessel will be destroyed immediately.

SPOCK: They’re shutting off some of our systems, Captain. Brilliant. Extremely sophisticated in their methods.

KIRK: Does the recorder marker have this on its tapes?

SPOCK: Enough to warn other Earth ships.

KIRK: Mister Bailey, dispatch recorder marker. Mister Bailey?

BAILEY: Recorder marker dispatched, sir.

SPOCK: Marker on course. Heading back the way we (big bang)

BALOK [OC]: Your recorder marker has been destroyed. You have been examined. Your ship must be destroyed. We make assumption you have a deity or deities or some such beliefs which comfort you. We therefore grant you ten Earth time periods known as minutes to make preparations.

SPOCK: Might be interesting to see what they look like if I can locate where that voice is coming from. (McCoy and Scott enter)
MCCOY: Balok’s message. It was heard all over the ship.

KIRK: Captain to crew. Those of you who have served for long on this vessel have encountered alien lifeforms. You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, an irrational fear of the unknown. But there’s no such thing as the unknown, only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood. In most cases we have found that intelligence capable of a civilisation is capable of understanding peaceful gestures. Surely a lifeform advanced enough for space travel is advanced enough to eventually understand our motives. All decks stand by. Captain out. Ship to ship.

UHURA: Hailing frequencies open, sir.

KIRK: This is the Captain of the USS Enterprise. We came seeking friendship but we have no wish to trespass. To demonstrate our goodwill, our vessel will now return the way it came. We (humming noise) Lay in a course ahead, Mister Bailey.

Star Trek: The Corbomite Maneuver